All Write, Already!

I'm sitting in this class, or gathering, or hearing or seminar, listening to my friends talk, in earnest, they are sincere and they are meaningful, their words are wise. I'm too stupid to comprehend half of what it means but I know the meaningless of their meaning. thank god these people exist, or so I think as I see them nodding, digesting details and processing this process being defined in painstaking detail while I scratch my head and start allowing wondering notions, such as: did I like my front door? how screwed am I with that speeding ticket, how come no one loves me,

Flash back to reality and they're all taking notes. NOTES?! excuse me, no one said anything about taking notes! I have been listening for as long as you have and I haven't been compelled to take any notes! I don't even know where I'd fricken' start with notes at this point. WHY THE HELL IS EVERYONE TAKING NOTES?!

Cut to now:

People are administering the information just freshly given, on their little lap top computers, implementing the procedures and marveling at their work as it all comes together. Me, I'm mortified case i didn't even bring my laptop, and i know I'm going to purge whatever half information I gleaned from the three to five words this speaker has said that I actually managed to retain.

Alright then, I'm an idiot,
Back Up off me about it,

Alright, I'm not like you, not as fast as you, not as sharp as you.

Back Up off me about it

Alright i should have come prepared, should have been prepared, should have prepared when i was a kid to be able to instinctively prepare now that I'm an adult. Shouldn't be so unprepared for how impaired I feel when I comprehend just how fucking unprepared I really am!

Sometimes we're just on a different page, sometimes the smart I am doesn't meet up with the genius you are in the grand central information station where we catch the train to awareness.

Back up off me about it.

I'm already on myself about it. I don't need you to be bugging me about it. as tired as you are of hearing my bitching about my steady mental ditching is as tired as i am to be producing those grating ‘why me so damned dumb’ sounds in the fucking first place. I'll be gone from your sight soon enough, erased from your roster, vanished from you existentially pontificating existence, absent from your authority, you can just let the matter slide right at this instance, just for a little fucking while, just long enough for me to gather my thinkings and slip on out the virtual door of our incidental interaction. For that time you can back up off me and let me have some space.... ;)