All Write, Already!

What is the deal with everyone wanting to EAT together? "Let's do dinner", "let's go to lunch", "let's meet at Tommy's at 2 AM for a chili cheeseburger"? Eating is a bodily function, and a rather disgusting one too, once you think about it. The smacking, the slurping, the licking BBQ sauce off your chin with your long tongue waggling around like a rabid garden snake. But people just seem to want to do this with other people. And this, I'll never understand.

I get into trouble with this in the corporate workplace. Everyone's always getting together groups to go to lunch, and I have a tendency to weasel out of it at every single opportunity. "We're all going to lunch! Wanna come?" "No thanks, I got this big (mumble with hand over my mouth) going on I gotta finish up. Also, the thought of wasting an hour of my life watching you people chew and talk about stock options is as appealing to me as cleaning out the refrigerator, which you people keep leaving your disgusting old rotting lunches in for months at a time, with my tongue."

Nobody asks, "Hey, you wanna come with us? We're gonna go outside and sneeze!"

In addition to all this, eating is, above all, if you're doing it right, a sensual experience. And name ONE sensual experience, except for that one, which is better with another person? Listening to music? Hell no, you wanna be in your own world. Movies? If it's a movie you're trying to appreciate on a sensual level, you don't need everyone else around you smacking their popcorn and whispering "whaddhe say? why did that guy do that? can u get me raisinets??" You wanna read a book with three other douchebags leaning over your shoulder?

But no. EATING, we all want to do together. Well, I say, SCREW that.

When I eat alone, I prefer to be by myself.

[MODERATOR] this has nothing to do with "guest", only "dinner"

Oh yeah. Soooooo. Don't invite me to dinner! As a guest! Unless it's lasagna!