All Write, Already!

The problem with being a pack-rat is that every time you contemplate moving, you have more crap to take with you. And unlike the old adage that "he who dies with the most toys wins," he who has the most crap when moving loses...

...friends, who suddenly find themselves busy washing their hair when you announce your move: "Yep, it's pretty much gonna take all weekend and into next week to wash my hair. Yep. It's a new special anti-aging treatment. You have to soak your head in a bowl of cold running water for 108 hours. Yeah, I'm not going to enjoy it at all. Good luck moving!"

...money, when you have to hire two-idiots-and-a-beat-up-bad-excuse-for-a-truck for $500 to work for four hours while they break half of your dishes and that really cool halogen lamp you bought three days ago.

...time, as you need to take off two hwhole weeks to pack all that crap into the many many many boxes you "borrowed" from the local liquor store or the milk crates that fell into your trunk when you backed into the loading dock of the supermarket at 3am. Then the boxes sit for six months untouched, or, at most, moved to get at even deeper buried boxes, all arranged haphazardly in the basement storage locker.

I'm currently in the first floor of a rental property. The basement is crammed floor-to-ceiling with my junk. Tomorrow, I begin the great un-pack-ratting, in order to find crap to sell on eBay. And I vow that the next time I move will be the last time I move. So help me God.