All Write, Already!

I spent years overcoming my fears of being naked, running through school halls with toilet paper on my wooden-heeled feet. Nevertheless, following my sister into the girls' bathroom threw me for a loop, for in that luxury suite stood the dirtiest, nastiest piece of bathroom china I've ever seen. "Oh, Brian, you know it's only here for show!" My sister's potty mouth... priceless. "I can't use that," I exclaimed, "it's disgusting!" Ever so obvious. "But it doesn't smell!" She was right. I couldn't smell a thing over the potpourri. She led me closer. The potpourri smell grew stronger. "Hey, that isn't real poop!" It looked like a chia experience upon close inspection, with little buds coming out of the rolls of brown muck encrusted on the thing. "I told you!" But how did they get the smell to so completely change complexion in so short a time? It was still disgusting, but now it seemed... "Natural," I said, "and so fragrant!" My sister, her bubble-gum chewing coming to a sudden pop, said, "Yeah, it took enough seeds to kill a diverticulitis-prone horse to get it this way!" And now, I wondered aloud, "Why leave it this way at all? It still looks horrible." She said, "You didn't expect one of us girls could bear to clean it did you? Ewww!"

To be continued?