All Write, Already!

Episode 23: David Goes on a Date

David the Dung Beetle scampered busily through his home at the end of Bobbin Row. "Bother and bother!" he said absently to himself as he scurried to and fro, "I shall never finish all this work in time for my encounter with the lovely Adelaide!" Fretful though he was, he proceeded apace; for he never shirked and always did his share.

The afternoon sun dipped into the horizon, and at once David exited the lump of shit at the end of Bobbin Row. He waved hello to his neighbor, Mrs. Praying Mantis.

"Hello, Mrs. Praying Mantis!" said David.

"Hello, David!" said Mrs. Praying Mantis as she munched on one of her offspring.

As David walked through the tall grass of Simmons' Yard, he ran into Charlie Cockroach, carrying a Big Potato Chip.

"Hello, Charlie!" said David.

"Hello, David!" said Charlie with a smile, "and where are you off to this fine evening?"

"I have a mind that I shall see the lovely Adelaide, and I have made a date with her!" said David.

"There's a fellow!" said Charlie "I hope you have a pleasant evening!"

Suddenly, Charlie looked up, "Bangers and mash! It's a Big Two-Leg! Come for my Big Potato Chip, doubtless! Well, I shan't give up!" And he scurried off into the deep grass.

David looked up and chuckled, for he saw that it was only Bartholomew. He smiled and shouted up, "Hallooo, Bartholomew!"

"'Ello, David," said the boy. He knelt over and David crawled on his finger. "You look keen, then! Whe' you off to?"

"I shall see the lovely Adelaide!" said David.

"Bartholomew Michael Simmons!" Said a Big Voice from beyond the yard. "You quit playing with insects and come inside this minute."

"Got to go! Good luck!" Bartholomew whispered to David, and with that, he gently put David back down on the grass, and off he went. "Put it to 'er good!" he called back. What a silly boy.

As David reached the edge Simmons' Yard he nearly became giddy with delight. He had only been out to see the Wider World thrice before, and never had he ventured so far as he would tonight. At last, he would see the lovely Adelaide! Oh, rapture! Oh, such a day!

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Addie sat at the table for two in the cafe and glanced at her watch. It was still five minutes early. Don't be nervous, she tried to tell herself. If you're nervous, you'll come off as a complete airhead. This guy had sounded so great when they'd chatted on the Internet. Polite, intelligent, and just...well, genteel. That was important to a girl, in a way that most guys couldn't understand these days. The only thing that gave her pause was that he didn't have a picture to share. He said he didn't own a camera. Maybe he was just embarrassed. Maybe he was overweight or had a big nose or...

"AAEEEEEKKK!"

A big dung beetle had just crawled up onto the table across from her. In a restaurant! This was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen.

"Hello," it said.

Her eyes widened. She opened her mouth but no sound came out.

"Adelaide, I presume? I have waited oh! so long to meet you!"

"D...D..." she could barely get the words past her throat. "D-David?"

"The very same, my love! My heart! My...w-where are you going? Come back! Adelaide!...Adelaide? Oh, bother and bother!"