All Write, Already!

I'm cleaning right now. Tomorrow I have people coming over to look at the house. A married couple. They seemed nice over email, but who knows once you get to meet them in person. And the best case scenario for me, no matter what they're like, is to get them to move in. That's my ultimate goal. I really can't go much longer without income.

So I'm cleaning the kitchen furiously. I hate cleaning the kitchen and when I'm depressed - which I am - it's a nearly impossible psychological hurdle. So I listen to podcasts. It keeps me from thinking about the task, keeps my brain from proposing alternatives or distractions.

I do this with an old phone I have that is no longer a phone so much as a very small tablet. Unfortunately I seem to have lost it a few weeks ago, and now I don't know what to do. I can't find the damn thing anywhere. I have another old phone but it's an older version of Android so the stream gets interrupted occasionally and it's impossible to find my place again, especially when I'm scrubbing grime off the hidden bits of the fridge.

So I'm trying to come up with another way then, so I have a cup of coffee. I rarely drink coffee but I figure maybe I can speed myself up a bit, and then mmmm, I remember how good coffee is, a rare pleasure I allow myself, and oh god it's good. Just coffee and sugar and hazelnut cream and a cigarette. Why don't I do this more often?

I look at the coffee pot sometimes and it's like looking at liquor, early in the morning. You get this repulsive feeling, like some part of your brain saying "NO! That's not a consumable at this time of day." I get the same feeling with coffee all the time. Of course it's different when you get that caffeine high going.

I don't consume caffeine for the most part. I rarely drink soda and when I do it's usually non-caffeinated. The most caffeine I ever get, apart from my rare cups of glorious - mmmm, oh this is good - coffee, is the occasional Dr. Pepper I'll allow myself when I'm exceptionally busy or hungry. But I don't really get addicted to the stuff. Well I did once, but back then I was having several cups of coffee a night to stay up for the graveyard shift.

Come to think of it, I was thinner back then. Hmmm, you know, maybe I will drink more of this coffee. Give it another chance, another go. It is sooooo good...

Oh shit, the dishes, right, damn it the dishes. I'll finish this coffee and get back to them. Maybe one more cup. Damn it why did I tell them I could meet with them tomorrow? Sunday would have been better. I hate houseguests. Hopefully they'll be living here after tomorrow though. I'll cross my fingers and hang on to that idea. Shit I forgot how good this can be, even when it's not hot any longer...

RIGHT! Okay, the dishes.