All Write, Already!

My addiction to music snuck up on me, as most addictions do. I didn't first start using music as a performance-enhancing agent until about the sixth grade, but once I did it once - I almost never looked back. In fact, it wasn't until the advent of real in-game music that I'd even consider playing video games without music. And it wasn't until the necessity of voice communication with other players that I'd actually largely abandon it.

There was an old game, available on the macintosh, back in the early 90s and late 80s called 'Spectre.' Actually, I didn't play Spectre, I played Spectre Supreme. Spectre Supreme had some serious badassness going on, especially in light of its competition in the first-person realm being largely games like Doom and Castle Wolfenstein. While not 3D, Spectre's graphics were uniquely spartan and simple, which let them have this sense of purity and let you focus on the action at hand. The gameplay was second to none. You drove a tank, you shot other tanks, sometimes you had a host of special weapons, but you never stopped using that basic gun. (Most of the backup weapons were kind of dumb, in my book. I only really ever used smart missiles, occasionally grenades, and once in a while the spreadshot when enemies got insanely numerous.

I was good at this game. I could make level 20ish without breaking a sweat, I could manage my ammo ilke a pro, and I knew how to exploit every maneuver I could to maximum efficacy. My friends would watch me play this game to learn how to play it better. Given my obsession with excellence, this pleased me.

Then I donned a pair of headphones, and started an audio CD in the CD-ROM drive (they were new at the time, and in fact you had to load the CD into this cassette and then put the cassette into the drive - it made the characteristic Mac sound when it ejected the cassette too). To my surprise it played automatically, despite the fact that I was running a program that had audio. The audio overlapped instead of fighting for playtime on the speaker and this too was new to me. (Multifinder was new to me as well since my previous computer experience was a Mac 512kE, with system 4.0 that couldn't run more than standard Finder.)

Anyway, I knew something was up when the first chords of "Train of Consequences" by Megadeth started up. I mean, that whole disc wasn't new to me, I was you're average 7th grade metal head geek (which meant I owned Megadeth's Euthanasia instead of just owning Metallica's black album) but this time the combination of Spectre's simplified graphics, frantic gameplay, and the pulse-thumping that was now taking over really got to me. By the time I was done with that session, an hour had gone by without so much as a 'whoopsie dasiy.' My ears ached from the poor fit of the headphones, and they were covered in sweat... my ears... sweaty... from exertion while being covered by the leather rims of the 'phones. This was utterly new. Beyond listening to music, this was immersion in it.

I made level 10 without getting hit. I made level 25 without running out of ammo or getting below half health even once. I didn't die the first time until level 29. I broke my personal best of level 32 with a life to spare. My new record was level 45. (To this day I don't know how many levels Spectre actually had. 45 was GNARLY.)

There was just something about the way the music got inside me. You'd think it was a distraction, all that noise, those lyrics to follow (which I actually didn't even really notice. Mustane might as well have been gargling at me with marbles in his mouth for all I would have cared)... it just didn't distract me. Every moment of the game became a single experience mashed together in a blur. I was on fire in ways I doubt I could express even if I tried. From then on, I didn't game without music onboard, not when timing and confidence mattered. Game soundtracks, as they became more complex and started using actual musicians and composers (all hail Nobuo Uematsu!) stopped me from needing my own additions, but even today I've been known to log onto a counterstrike server, turn off teamchat, and just go bonkers with music blaring. Sure, I lose the teamwork advantage, but an episode of being a one-man fragmachine sure feels good from time to time.

There is a bit of that purity that is lost in video games today, an ambiance that music provided when it drowned out the rest of the world... but I still feel the performance enhancing dose of music. I just feel it in the car now, on the stereo when I play music that has all the right melodies. It's dangerous, I'm sure. If my performance flags in video games, I lose a life, perhaps I have to start over. If it flags while behind the wheel of a car... there is no reset button. But I'll be damned if there aren't times I feel absolutely invincible if the right music happens along.

Someday I'd love to try it, just race along however I please with the music in my blood. Maybe I'm just a typical macho guy, craving a moment on the edge - but it is the sexiest, most satisfying feeling in the world to be in that moment; Perhaps to BE that moment.

All I need is a good stereo.