All Write, Already!

Oh shit. I did it. I started on the road to actual adulthood. I began the process of buying a home.

This is nerve-wracking. The concept of so much debt is staggering. The scrutiny by the financially-savvy moneylenders of all my poor choices in the past (yes, that debt was ex-husband's, but I had it in my name because I'm a doormat), the juggling of 401K loans, and gifts from relatives, and sexual favors in return for gifts from friends (I'm kidding... mostly.)

I'm up late every night with worry. I don't even have the apartment nailed down yet, and I am spazzing nightly about debt. I'm also spazzing over the possibility of not getting this place. I am so in love with it. It has a door to Narnia, for fuck's sake.

So I explored the concept of crowdfunding. Am I truly an adult if I'm appealing to my friends and strangers for financial help? I think I am. I have always been ready to help a person in need when I was in a position to do so. I will always do so in the future. I think this is an amazing tool for fostering community. I don't think it's wrong to utilize it. Still, I add to my list of nightly worries the concern that my friends think I'm weak and opportunistic.

But dammit! This apartment needs to be mine! Narnia!

Cross your fingers for me. Chant for me. Send good vibes my way. Pray for me. Whatever you can do to encourage the forces of this world to grant me this opportunity, do it. I would do the same for you!