Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Shhhhhhh!!!
There are just some things you don’t say on a plane
Some argue it’s censorship, some say it’s a shame
But me, I think we’ve only ourselves to blame
The sights and sounds I have witnessed compel me to exclaim
That there are anecdotes and themes not to be uttered on a
plane
Words like ‘Bomb’, or ‘explode’, phrases like ‘open this
door!’
Declarations like ‘to my homeland now!’ in the patois of some
middle-eastern shore
and There are items, ideas of an unsavory sort
For instance refusing to share a seat with a Sikh might earn
you a nasty liberal retort
And Combustible underwear and incendiary shoes
Are certain to fill the air with harsh jeers and loud boos
There are also some things you don’t do on a plane
Mile high club not withstanding, just let me explain:
That whatever your stature, whatever your means
Pretending the wing’s on fire will be construed as obscene
And forget any plans you might have for a laugh
Don’t stand and start shouting ‘we’re all going to crash’
And needless to say, as just a sidebar kind of thing
We won’t tolerate your noticing that goblin out on our wing
cause see, we all know there are just some things you don’t
say on a plane
I’m not preaching to the deaf or chastising the lame
I am laboring greatly to spare you some dubious fame
From being the fool who misspoke or whom erred in vain
And did or said something stupid whilst we’re here on this
damned plane
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