Friday, October 05, 2012
Blood
Not everyone in a family is related, and not everyone you're related to is your family.Family takes more than blood. It's deeper than that; it's something shared, developed, and forever a part of you. It's the millions upon millions of tiny things connecting you to someone else; the things that make them important no matter what happens.
My mother isn't my mom just because she gave birth to me; she's my mom because of the way she looks out for me and worries over what'll happen to me and what I do even when it exasperates me, or I snap at her. Because of the care she took in raising me, the shelter and protection, of pushing me to do everything I can instead of just what I have to. Because I know that she'll be there to listen whenever I need to drop in a call.
My father isn't my dad because he got my mom pregnant; it's because of how much he put into the family, that he provided for us, and that he was around whenever it was needed. That he knew when to lay down the law on misbehaving, but also when to let things slide, or even encourage something small. That he introduced me to so much of the literature, media, and sources of philosophy that shaped me; that he showed me how to be who I wanted to be, both as an example of things I knew to emulate, but also things I needed to watch myself and avoid.
My brother isn't my brother because he was born to the same parents as me; it's because forgave the stupid stunts I pulled, but also pulled stupid stunts of his own on me. Because he'd needle and make fun of me, but still wouldn't accept that coming from anyone else. Because he introduced me to music I wouldn't have otherwise heard, gave me competition in the things we shared, and because we could enjoy the things we didn't share as well. And because now that we're not kids anymore, he's still there, even when in a different city.
And despite not being relatives, my cloesest are still family; because they shaped who I am, challenged ideas I had, presented new ones to consider, helped me through tough times and relied on me to help with their own problems. Because we trust each other implicitly, and know each other inside and out.
Your family isn't your relatives, because a family isn't just born. It's made, nurtured, and fed every day you have it; it's earned, through what you do for them, and what they'd do for you- just because you are what you are, instead of what you and they can get out of it. I might bicker with family, fight; I've hurt them, and they've hurt me, but in the end that just contributes as much to what we are as all the rest.
They're my family, and I love them all.
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